When you see someone you desperately love in pain, it is only natural to share the pain with them. Or at the very least to wish you could. In my short life of 21 years I have seen my share of heartache. My mother at the age of 35 had a debilitating stroke and she still lives with the repercussions of that now. My distant cousin who I was very fond of died suddenly leaving his wife, who is mentally ill. My youngest cousin on my mothers side suffers from Pheiffers Syndrome and will soon be having another surgery. Two friends of mine from high school died early. My brother's best friend died this past summer because of one careless mistake. He was such a good boy always after Christ. My grandmamma was in a horrible accident and everyday deals with arthritis so severe that it has mangled her body. And now my Aunt and Uncle are having issues that I will not discuss online.
These are but a few of the heartaches I have seen in my life. Each one significant in its own way, each one important, and equally heartbreaking.
The only thing that comforts me is knowing that there is something greater. There is more to this life then this earthly pain. Good things come out of the bad. It amazes me everytime I see a bad situation and God turns it around and brings some amazing good out of it. Even though my mother suffers everyday and makes frequent hospital visits, God has changed a lot in our family through this situation. Because of it, we are all closer to Him and everyday my mom is a great testimony to those who do not know Christ. There is nothing in this world I cannot handle because I am a daughter of the great King and I will have no fear for He is with me.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is mad perfect in weakness'. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
This was written by Paul, a great servant of Christ. This verse comforts me knowing that God's grace is sufficient!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
HYPOCRITE!!!
The church has been called hypocritcal for as long as I can remember and way before that. People who do not know God or Jesus, look at the people in the chuch and often think what hypocrites. However, we are all hyporcrites. Just because we go to church does not mean we are free from sin or better than anyone else. It does not mean we do not struggle or hurt or yell or mess up in life. It just means we are forgiven.
The worst part is that the church today is trying to conform to this world instead of aligning with the bible. It is easier to say this is ok and that is ok and we accept your sin then to be outright with what is truth. The truth hurts. And we are called to be faithful followers of Jesus Christ, not followers when it is easy. We are not supposed to be of the world. We are meant to be the salt of the earth the light of the world! Where is this light? Sometimes I find churchs dimming their light and losing their saltiness just because its easier.
Christ did not say that once you become a Christian, life becomes easy. Or that life will be like a bed of roses. Or that you will be perfect. The funny thing is that God said it would be quite the opposite. It will be hard. We will face persecutions. We may lose friends, family, and find ourselves almost alone. But God does promise us more. He will ALWAYS be there even in the midst of a dark room, he can be that one little light in the corner.
So here I say to you Church, stand up for what is right, biblically. Do not be afraid! God is with us. Emmanuel. There is more to life then appeasing the people around us. But please God and be faithful to Him alone. After all, He was crucified!
Is the church full of hypocrites? YES. Am I sometimes a hypocriet? Absolutely. But aren't we all. All of us are sinners, all need saving, some of us choose to be saved, some of us do not. The church will always be full of hypocrites but please do not judge God because his people are sinners.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23
The worst part is that the church today is trying to conform to this world instead of aligning with the bible. It is easier to say this is ok and that is ok and we accept your sin then to be outright with what is truth. The truth hurts. And we are called to be faithful followers of Jesus Christ, not followers when it is easy. We are not supposed to be of the world. We are meant to be the salt of the earth the light of the world! Where is this light? Sometimes I find churchs dimming their light and losing their saltiness just because its easier.
Christ did not say that once you become a Christian, life becomes easy. Or that life will be like a bed of roses. Or that you will be perfect. The funny thing is that God said it would be quite the opposite. It will be hard. We will face persecutions. We may lose friends, family, and find ourselves almost alone. But God does promise us more. He will ALWAYS be there even in the midst of a dark room, he can be that one little light in the corner.
So here I say to you Church, stand up for what is right, biblically. Do not be afraid! God is with us. Emmanuel. There is more to life then appeasing the people around us. But please God and be faithful to Him alone. After all, He was crucified!
Is the church full of hypocrites? YES. Am I sometimes a hypocriet? Absolutely. But aren't we all. All of us are sinners, all need saving, some of us choose to be saved, some of us do not. The church will always be full of hypocrites but please do not judge God because his people are sinners.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23
Weight Watching
I am on Weight Watchers. I confess! I have been on this diet or lifestyle change, however you wish to see it, for about a couple of months now. It actually works. I have never actually been what you would call "fat" or "overweight". In fact when I started the program I was in my healthy weight range. I guess being a woman, it is hard to find complete satisfaction in yourself. I am getting married and I want to look my best. So my goal has been to get down to 128 pounds. I started out at 142 I think. Right now, I am currently at 132 so I have lost 10 pounds. The funny thing is that I was in my health range, I was just towards the top and had a little extra here or there that I didn't care for. I only have 4 pounds to go but these seem to be the hardest. I actually got down to 131.5 pounds two weeks ago but have gained a half a pound since and cannot seem to lose anymore. Granted, these last two weeks, Ive been eating more because everything I see, I want to eat.
Another great accomplishment, I know wear a size 4 dress and size 6 in jeans. However, my size 8 jeans still fit alright. I'll tell you one thing, it has been great to go shopping and to see the difference in the sizes. It is hard to see the difference when you look in the mirror everyday but ten pounds does make a change. I know now that those pounds I've wanted to lose since Freshman year in College are actually coming off and were possible all the time. However, they do say that when a woman wants to lose ten pounds, it is harder than if she wants to lose fifty. That doesn't seem to make sense, but I think what they are saying is that the first ten pounds are the hardest to lose. Ironically, mine are the last four pounds that I am having trouble with.
The worst part of it all, is that I prob won't lose any weight till after the holidays. They came at just the right time. However, as long as I am 128 pounds on May 28, 2011, my wedding day, then all will be well with the world.
Another great accomplishment, I know wear a size 4 dress and size 6 in jeans. However, my size 8 jeans still fit alright. I'll tell you one thing, it has been great to go shopping and to see the difference in the sizes. It is hard to see the difference when you look in the mirror everyday but ten pounds does make a change. I know now that those pounds I've wanted to lose since Freshman year in College are actually coming off and were possible all the time. However, they do say that when a woman wants to lose ten pounds, it is harder than if she wants to lose fifty. That doesn't seem to make sense, but I think what they are saying is that the first ten pounds are the hardest to lose. Ironically, mine are the last four pounds that I am having trouble with.
The worst part of it all, is that I prob won't lose any weight till after the holidays. They came at just the right time. However, as long as I am 128 pounds on May 28, 2011, my wedding day, then all will be well with the world.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Thankful for Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Actually it is four days away! I have to say that Thanksgiving is definitely one of my favorite holidays. I love the food and especially seeing my whole family. We never all get together except for big holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, and the occasional special events like weddings or birthdays. I guess in comparison to some families that may be a lot of family time together. However, I do wish it was more. My Mammaw cooks all this great food (and I mean all of it) and all the grand kids usually play games together. We have ages fifteen to twenty nine. There are no great grandchildren yet but they will be coming along soon. If I had money to bet, I'd bet that when Andrew and I get married, we will have kids before any of my older cousins. That thought always makes me giggle.
Then on Saturday I get to celebrate another Thanksgiving at my Grandmamma and Granddaddy's house. It is quite a different story over there. The only grandchildren they have are my brother and me. So as you can imagine its much more quiet. At my Mammaw and Pappaw's house, there are eight grandchildren plus there families. Its not huge but it is definitely a full house. So there is a big difference.
I actually kind of enjoy the difference because it lets me appreciate the different types of families and to have two totally different Thanksgiving experiences.
Finally I celebrate, at least these past two years, with Andrew's family. They are actually even bigger than my Mammaw and Pappaw's family. They are already at the great grandchildren stage so there are a bunch of little children running around as well.
Overall, looking at all the different Thanksgivings I have, I feel really blessed. I have a whole bunch of family that I love very much and enjoy so much to see them. It is such a blessing to get together and celebrate. I cannot wait to see everyone.
Then on Saturday I get to celebrate another Thanksgiving at my Grandmamma and Granddaddy's house. It is quite a different story over there. The only grandchildren they have are my brother and me. So as you can imagine its much more quiet. At my Mammaw and Pappaw's house, there are eight grandchildren plus there families. Its not huge but it is definitely a full house. So there is a big difference.
I actually kind of enjoy the difference because it lets me appreciate the different types of families and to have two totally different Thanksgiving experiences.
Finally I celebrate, at least these past two years, with Andrew's family. They are actually even bigger than my Mammaw and Pappaw's family. They are already at the great grandchildren stage so there are a bunch of little children running around as well.
Overall, looking at all the different Thanksgivings I have, I feel really blessed. I have a whole bunch of family that I love very much and enjoy so much to see them. It is such a blessing to get together and celebrate. I cannot wait to see everyone.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Running
Last year, around this time, I decided to begin training for a half marathon. I have always ran cross country, at least since middle school through high school. But, to be honest, I never really cared for it. I just did it to stay in shape for my other sports (basketball, soccer, tennis). Well training started and let me tell you I never thought that I would be able to run 13.1 miles but I just trusted that one day I would get there. Each week I added more miles and harder runs. Before long I was runnign 8 or 9 miles and it actually wasn't hard and I enjoyed it. I say it wasn't hard, what I mean is it wasn't as hard as you would think. I had registered for the half marathon in Nashville, TN called the Music City Marathon. It is a huge deal in Nashville. Well late March, early April, I got injured. I went ahead to the doctor who thought maybe it was just a pulled muscle. I then took some steroids and had some r&r. Well, you guessed it, it wasn't just a pulled muscle but a common problem found in women called patella femoral syndrome. Long story short, I couldn't run my half marathon. I went the day before and picked up my packet and my number. Talk about a depressing day! I worked for almost an entire year training hard and putting in hundreds of hours and yet I didn't even get to race. I ended up having surgery this October after about six months of failed physical therapy. I have just got back into running and I have to start from the ground up. I look forward to my next race but am taking it slow, careful to do anything I can not to get injured again.
The funny thing about this story is that it relates a lot to life. Sometimes you work so hard for something and never get to be in the race. But I finally realized that sometimes that is alright because to be honest most of the time the training and the work you put in to get to the race are actually more important than the race. And even though I missed one race, this doesn't mean I will miss the ones in front of me. I have to get back you! I have to train more! But one day it will be worth it. One day I want to look up and say not only did I run the race the way I wanted to but I ran my life the way I was called to.
Hebrew 12:1 says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us,".
RUN! Don't WALK!!! :)
So glad to be running again even though it's hard!
The funny thing about this story is that it relates a lot to life. Sometimes you work so hard for something and never get to be in the race. But I finally realized that sometimes that is alright because to be honest most of the time the training and the work you put in to get to the race are actually more important than the race. And even though I missed one race, this doesn't mean I will miss the ones in front of me. I have to get back you! I have to train more! But one day it will be worth it. One day I want to look up and say not only did I run the race the way I wanted to but I ran my life the way I was called to.
Hebrew 12:1 says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us,".
RUN! Don't WALK!!! :)
So glad to be running again even though it's hard!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Just Have Faith!
Right now, the future seems so uncertain and shaky. As a human being, I think we can all agree that we share a deep dark fear of the unknown. What will happen? Will it all work out? Am I doing what I am supposed to do in order to get me where ever it is that I am supposed to be? These questions creep into my day and sometimes my nights. Haunting my every step is the fear of what if I do the wrong thing or make one mistake. How much will that alter my life? Then even bigger questions follow like Am I making a difference? Am I being the best I can be? Do I have what it takes? Can God use me even though, to be honest, I feel like nothing but a worthless sinner unworthy of anything like God's love? These are some pretty deep questions for a 21 year old female most would say.
But to be honest I have really always had deep questions lurking in my soul. The problem with these questions is that really, let's be honest here, there aren't any 100% answers. No, we are not that lucky. Andrew and I are trying to prepare the best we can for our life together but some of these questions are so far from answered that we can't help but wonder are we ready? Then Andrew said something last night as we were discussing our future. He said something to the point of "sometimes you just have to have the faith and do it".
Whatever it is you feel called to do, whatever it is you are wanting to do, or whatever question you might have, just have faith! What a simple notion, right? Just have faith! I can't say its the easiest thing I've heard in my life. The biggest issue with that phrase is with faith comes the ability to believe without all of the answers laid out in front of us. There are only a few things I am absolutely certain in this life. One, I have a Savior and Lord of my life named Jesus Christ, who will certainly save me from the pits of Hell and despair and lead me into Heaven on the day I leave this earth, and two, that He, being God, will always provide for me. That does not mean that I will always have the riches I have always dreamed of or that life will be any kind of easy, actually quite the contrary, the bible promises life will be hard, but I will be provided for as a Child of God.
So even if I don't know the answers and cannot tell you my future or what it may look like or what I am going to do, I choose to have faith! I will jump when I can't see the ground, and leap with no certainty of landing, I will close my eyes when all I want to do is see and I will look up to the Heavens when the earth below is crashing in. I will not fear for thy Lord is my comforter! I will have faith! I am not afraid!
But to be honest I have really always had deep questions lurking in my soul. The problem with these questions is that really, let's be honest here, there aren't any 100% answers. No, we are not that lucky. Andrew and I are trying to prepare the best we can for our life together but some of these questions are so far from answered that we can't help but wonder are we ready? Then Andrew said something last night as we were discussing our future. He said something to the point of "sometimes you just have to have the faith and do it".
Whatever it is you feel called to do, whatever it is you are wanting to do, or whatever question you might have, just have faith! What a simple notion, right? Just have faith! I can't say its the easiest thing I've heard in my life. The biggest issue with that phrase is with faith comes the ability to believe without all of the answers laid out in front of us. There are only a few things I am absolutely certain in this life. One, I have a Savior and Lord of my life named Jesus Christ, who will certainly save me from the pits of Hell and despair and lead me into Heaven on the day I leave this earth, and two, that He, being God, will always provide for me. That does not mean that I will always have the riches I have always dreamed of or that life will be any kind of easy, actually quite the contrary, the bible promises life will be hard, but I will be provided for as a Child of God.
So even if I don't know the answers and cannot tell you my future or what it may look like or what I am going to do, I choose to have faith! I will jump when I can't see the ground, and leap with no certainty of landing, I will close my eyes when all I want to do is see and I will look up to the Heavens when the earth below is crashing in. I will not fear for thy Lord is my comforter! I will have faith! I am not afraid!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Girl's Got to do, what a Girl's got to do
So I am going to warn all you readers out there, if you continue with this blog it may be rather lovey dovey and mushy. But, in all honesty, if you continue to read it and get angry for it being so sappy, well I can't say I didn't warn you. But lets be realistic here, I don't think there are many readers and you know what, that's is perfectly fine by me! :) So lets get started.
The basics of this week have been too much stuff to do not enough time, work, work, and work, followed by school, school, and school. It is nearly Thanksgiving so as you can imagine, everything for school is just getting more important. But yesterday I was able to find a break. It started off like any normal morning but my excitement was heightened. I also made it a day of heels because I knew today was a day that I wanted to look good. Instead of the normal thirty to forty minutes its takes for me to get ready, it took a solid hour and a half. But it was fun! ( I am a girl after all) I then left my house to make the dreaded trek to school for a few hours of class. But at 1:15pm I was out of there. I filled up for gas, which took way too long but probably only because of my eagerness. I then made my way down and up curvy roads, dodging deer, and slow cars on my way to Dickson, Tn. Now you may ask, what is in Dickson, Tn that could possibly excite you? Well, here is where it gets sappy! Andrew! My fiancee, Andrew, lives in Dickson and last night we went out on a date. Once I got there, we immediately left for Lebanon to do some shopping. After that we headed to downtown Nasvhille to eat dinner at Joe's Crab Shack, somewhere I had never been. You may be thinking, well that is nothing special! Well it wasn't special because of the dinner or going shopping, that's all pretty normal. I mean I have to eat and I am a girl so I shop often. It was special because I had a wonderful night with the man I love. After the dinner, we walked downtown a while and shared the best sundae I have ever had! Heading back to Dickson, we stopped off once more to shop a bit at Nashville West then continued on our merry way back to his house. There we watched one of our favorite shows (SOA) and just hung out a talked. Not eventful, not over the top romantic, but definitely one of the best dates I have had in a long time. It will be hard to top! So sorry for being sappy. But sometimes a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do!!
The basics of this week have been too much stuff to do not enough time, work, work, and work, followed by school, school, and school. It is nearly Thanksgiving so as you can imagine, everything for school is just getting more important. But yesterday I was able to find a break. It started off like any normal morning but my excitement was heightened. I also made it a day of heels because I knew today was a day that I wanted to look good. Instead of the normal thirty to forty minutes its takes for me to get ready, it took a solid hour and a half. But it was fun! ( I am a girl after all) I then left my house to make the dreaded trek to school for a few hours of class. But at 1:15pm I was out of there. I filled up for gas, which took way too long but probably only because of my eagerness. I then made my way down and up curvy roads, dodging deer, and slow cars on my way to Dickson, Tn. Now you may ask, what is in Dickson, Tn that could possibly excite you? Well, here is where it gets sappy! Andrew! My fiancee, Andrew, lives in Dickson and last night we went out on a date. Once I got there, we immediately left for Lebanon to do some shopping. After that we headed to downtown Nasvhille to eat dinner at Joe's Crab Shack, somewhere I had never been. You may be thinking, well that is nothing special! Well it wasn't special because of the dinner or going shopping, that's all pretty normal. I mean I have to eat and I am a girl so I shop often. It was special because I had a wonderful night with the man I love. After the dinner, we walked downtown a while and shared the best sundae I have ever had! Heading back to Dickson, we stopped off once more to shop a bit at Nashville West then continued on our merry way back to his house. There we watched one of our favorite shows (SOA) and just hung out a talked. Not eventful, not over the top romantic, but definitely one of the best dates I have had in a long time. It will be hard to top! So sorry for being sappy. But sometimes a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do!!
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